The Eventider's News


Issue Seven, Autumn/Winter 2006. 



Page 6

Scran bag! 




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This page will be a collection of snippets and information, gleaned from owners and friends, newspapers, magazines and scurrilous heresay as well no doubt,  hopefully all factual, as far as can be ascertained, and maybe humorous, we all need a giggle some times!  Have you found a snippet we could add?



  Environment Agencycreating a better place    
  With the ever increasing risk of flooding in the country Christine sent this weblink in for all. There are Flood risk warnings for the whole country posted her as and when issued..  Interestingly the day I posted it, 2.11.06, there were many in East Anglia, and it had not rained that much.


On this site I have also found that the HW mark in 14 years, moves from 1.5 miles away to .5 mile, as the Seawalls round the Dengie peninsular, between Bradwell and Burnham on Crouch, are not expected to last that long, no money being spent to restore them.  I'm looking to buy a bit of a farmers field down the lane, so I can moor F.G. there in 15 years time, get to it by bike then!  Pleased we are on a 20m high hillock!



Environment Agency

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 Only in Britain can we have a statue dedicated to the man who lost the battle and got his head removed to boot!

This is the new statue of Brithnoth, the Saxon Earl who led the Saxons against the Vikings that landed on Northey Island in 991.  (the exact place is unsure, but it is believed to be Northey.)

They  were stuck on the Island, nicely bottled up by a few of the locals, when along comes Brithnoth.  'Now come on chaps, this is simply not cricket, and this is England you know.  Let these nice Viking chaps have a proper set to if they want, we can show them what we are made of!'  Drop back, let them come across the causeway...  Now there's a bunch of good chappies!'

'What's that you say, there's more of them, Oh Dear!  Never mind, out swor..................!

And so Brithnoth lost his head, the Vikings said thankyou so very much and ransacked Maldon, coming back every sailing season to claim their Dane geld, till those other invaders arrived...

With all the letters in the local Maldon papers taking a poke at the Maldon council who invested so much money in a statue to the loser, I wonder how long it will be before some wag has his head off!




Sent in by Dave, one of our 'Friends', for all those who miss the shipboard life of the 'Andrew' and wish to recapture some of it...

Made me smile and I have only been on board as a 'guest'...



Here‘s how to recapture the atmosphere of the old days and simulate living onboard ship.

Build a shelf in the top of your wardrobe and sleep on it inside a smelly sleeping bag. Remove the wardrobe door and replace it with a curtain that’s too small.

Wash your underwear every night in a bucket then hang it over the water pipes to dry.

Four hours after you go to bed, have your wife whip open the curtains, shine a torch in your eyes, and say “sorry mate, wrong pit”.

Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the centre of the bath and move the showerhead down to chest level. Store beer barrels in the shower enclosure.

When you have a shower, remember to turn off the water whilst you soap.

Every time there is a thunderstorm, sit in a wobbly rocking chair, and rock as hard as you can until you are sick.

Put oil instead of water into a humidifier and set to HIGH.

Don’t watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. For added realism, have your family vote for which movie they want to see – then select a different one.

(Mandatory for engineering types) – Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day to re-create the proper noise levels.

Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

Once a week blow compressed air up through your chimney. Ensure that the wind carries the soot over your neighbour’s house. When he complains, laugh at him.

Buy a rubbish compactor but only use it once a week. Store up your rubbish in the other side of the bath.

Wake up every night at midnight and make a sandwich out of anything you can find, preferably using stale bread. Optional: cold soup or canned Ravioli, eaten out of the tin.

Devise your family menus a week in advance without looking in the fridge or larder.

Set your alarm to go off at random times throughout the night. When it goes off, leap out of bed, get dressed as fast as you can and then run into the garden and break out the garden hose.

Once a month, take every major household appliance completely apart then re-assemble.

Use 4 spoons of coffee per cup, and allow it to sit for 3 hours before drinking.

Invite about 85 people who you don’t really like to come to stay for a couple of months.

Install a small fluorescent light under your coffee table and then lie under it to read books.

Raise the thresholds and lower the tops of all your doors in the house. Now you will always hit your head or skin you shins when passing through.

Put lock wire on the wheel nuts of your car.

Whilst baking cakes prop one side of the cake tin while it is baking. When it has cooled, spread icing really thickly on one side to level it out again.

Every so often throw your cat in the swimming pool, or bath and shout “man overboard”, then run into the kitchen and sweep all the dishes onto the floor while yelling at your wife for not having secured for sea properly.

Put on the headphones from your stereo. Do not plug them in. go and stand in front of your dishwasher. Say to nobody in particular, “dishwasher manned and ready, sir”. Stand there for 3 or 4 hours. Say, once again to nobody in particular, “dishwasher secured”. Remove the headphones, roll up the cord and put them away.

Nickname your favourite shoe “steamies” and get you children to hide them around the house on a random basis.



Click the link below to down load the shipping forecast from this site!

New Edition of the Weather forecast  especially for Eventiders!

Now this might take a few moments to load, but is worth listening to.




Now this has to take some beating..  how many times has this happened to you sailing through the Swin?


August 2006, the yacht 'Maiken' is travelling in the south Pacific,

 found what looked like a beach, but on top of the water!

They were able to sail through it!  It was pumice!

Then they saw a plume of smoke and before their eyes a new island was created.

Hope they got to name it!


In December 2006 we heard from John Marshall. 

It was as a postscript to a log in the Newsletter No. 2,


I have just read the story of Capt Barden's voyage in the Ngoma in your newsletter No.2.
In it he mentions a British sea captain making him his guest in Jidda.   I happened to be Mate on that ship and remember the incident well.   I took a photograph of Ngoma at the time and I've put it up on my website at   this link :
I thought that it might be of interest to you.
John Marshall

Below is the photo John took all those years ago.  Small world Eh!   Many thanks John!


Ngoma in Jeddah harbour. This little craft had been built in East Africa by an officer in the King's African Rifles. He and a friend were sailing it home from Dar-es-Salaam. However, in the northern Red Sea he had to use the engine to make progress against the strong northerlies which live in the area and, as Murphy's law dictates, it packed up . So he diverted to Jeddah for repairs. He didn't have any detailed charts, but he made it. Anyone who remembers the area will agree that that was quite a feat. We invited them aboard for a bath and a feed and although the ship's liquor was locked away I believe we were able to fortify them from the 'medicinal' supplies.

Captain Barden, for 'twas he, has passed away now but his story of the voyage is on line at


Well you read it here some time ago, Scranbag No 4, I seem to recall.  

The Long Sand Head Wind Farm  has finally got the government go ahead. Monday 18th December 2006.

The London Array!

Might take them a year or two to get it going, but if it is as quick as the Kentish Flats site, it will not be more than 3 years and I will be able to see them form where I sit in my little office at Bluebell cottage!  The extra navigation markers in that part of the estuary will be a bonus too!  There will be shipping lanes and small craft passage-ways too.  Sounds good to me,  I also want my own free electric!  no chance!



I now have a different sort of story to relate.  It is in regards to my Seagull Outboard business....


Gold and Treasure!

I had an interesting phone call earlier in the month, from a researcher for a TV company.  They were searching for a Robert Groves, and stumbled upon him on my SOS site.  Robert was the artist who supplied British Seagull with many a fine drawing for their adverts....

His son was in touch with me re his fathers work some time back, and it was he they wanted to find.  I was able to put them in touch, nothing to do with Seagulls though.

The story that un folded was instead one of treasure, gold, pirates and kings, of treasure maps and wills!

It seems Mr. Groves for many years had an old parchment framed on his wall. It related to a will of a pirate, one 'Eli Fleete'.  It seems this pirate probably nicked the treasure, in gold, of bonny Prince Charlie!  The will was found in a chest, a real pirates chest no less!  It had also contained a map, and Mr Groves had written about this in a Scottish newspaper years ago, the 1930's.  This is how the researcher tracked him down...   Seems Mr Groves mounted an expedition to try and find the treasure, but the map led to a spot just off Ireland, where the land had been reclaimed by the sea, so the sea probably took the gold! 

All will be the subject of a TV program, and when I find out more I will give the date of the program.  In the meantime I have a couple of files sent me, a copy of the will and an explanation of sorts too... I reproduce them here.  What Robert's son is after now is the whereabouts of that old framed will? Must be hanging on a pub wall somewhere!


All stirring stuff!

John SOS

 I wonder if there is anyone out there in Eventide land who knows more of this story...  you never know!  different anyway!



Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.



Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!